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<  General Chatting  ~  How To Pull: Dawson Style:

PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 7:03 pm
User avatarCridaperPosts: 13970Location: WolverhamptonJoined: Mon May 31, 2004 4:00 am
OK let me begin.

Before I regail you with this epic love story I will ask that you sit down and get a packet of Hob Nobs (or similar) so that you can take in the delights that unfold.

It's important to introduce the two main players in this gallactic shindig which went from the years 2003 to 2004.

In the red corner with have Badger Badger

Her name protected to protect her privacy and dignity. Young Badger fresh out of college with niavity to match her years. She was quiet, shy, polite and single. All credentials any man worth his salt could use to strike home a relationship.

In the blue corner we have Dawson

The young whipper snapper, "Dawson the boy" fresh from kissing and running from Jo, his latest conquest. A host of previous engagements with the opposite sex to his history. Daws was moving through the college chicks like a dose of the clap. This should be no contest.


Round 1:

Dawson, stuck for anyone else to fancy and having fallen out with the only other girl in the group decides to move onto the oblivous Badger. He starts with his favourite tactic, talking to other people about it in the hope they will pass his intentions onto her. But no it transpires this tactic falls on deaf ears.

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Badger protects her drink from being spiked


Round 2:

Dawson makes the most agressive move of the entire relationship and goes on a drive with Badger. He spends the entire time in knots of confusion until she takes him home. With the two of them alone in the car Dawson somehow finds the impossible balance between making a move and not making a move. Somehow he manages to make his intentions known to Badger without actually acting upon anything. He tells her he fancies her, she says ok then, he then gets out the car and goes in.

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Bugging her house reveals little of use


Round 3:

Dawson plays the slowly slowly catchy monkey approach and kind of hangs around waiting for something to happen. By hanging around I mean he constantly texts and phones Badger working the old "All girls like a needy man" thoery practiced by students of Crazy College, Insaneville.

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The 'cute look' brings no rewards


Round 4:

Dawson becomes confused and aggitated about why his general lame attitude isn't making Badger jump on him like a horny amial shot with a sex dart. He increases the lameness ten fold to the point were we are all sitting in amazement as he flicks through every page of Badgers unversity study reading (approx 3000pages) and nods interestingly at every one.

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Dawson as Badger saw him for about two years


Round 5:

Dawson tries a more marketing orientated attack and puts himself in Badgers field of vision as often as possible. If she's in her car he's in the back staring at her from the rear view mirror. If she's in the pub he's pulled up a chair to sit almost knee to knee. If she goes to the toilet he's in the next cubical head pressed against the particion listening. I meet Jo.

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Dawson having broken into Badgers house


Round 6:

Dawson become increasingly mopey prior to seeing Badger and evermore snappy after seeing her. When away from Badger he seems to only mutter the sentance "It's so unfair" constantly. I start going out with Jo.

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"Look at me Badger! I can party too, I'm wild!"


Round 7:

Approx 6 months on Dawson re-tries letting his feelings known. This time via the far more manly form of text message. He is told she's not interested right now.

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Dawson offers money for sex and is politely refused


Round 8:

Dawson waits patiently.


Round 9:

A week later Dawson becomes so frustrated he threatens to keep Badgers NES console (out of ear shot of Badger).

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Dawson strutting his stuff


Round 10:

Dawson finally gets the oppotunity handed to him on a plate. He realises this at the time, and in typical Dawson style, does absolutely nothing about it. And then realises that was probably his last chance. Decides the best course of action is to mope about it for about 18 months.

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Dawson (can't be seen) in his 2nd home, the back of Badgers Ka.


Last edited by MWF on Tue May 09, 2006 7:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2006 7:17 pm
User avatarHulkaruthersPosts: 5017Location: London, The SouthJoined: Wed Jun 23, 2004 4:00 am
CLASSIC!

SUPERB!



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:40 pm
User avatarBiggest Nappy EvaPosts: 6922Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 4:00 am
Sticky? Shouldn't this be in the library?



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:43 pm
User avatarCridaperPosts: 13970Location: WolverhamptonJoined: Mon May 31, 2004 4:00 am
What library?



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:49 pm
User avatarItsukiPosts: 4790Location: TeanJoined: Sat Jun 05, 2004 4:00 am
*still has the NES*

I say... WINZ!



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:50 pm
User avatarCridaperPosts: 13970Location: WolverhamptonJoined: Mon May 31, 2004 4:00 am
LMFAO!!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 3:55 pm
User avatarBiggest Nappy EvaPosts: 6922Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 4:00 am
PMSL! Daws, you fucking legend! :mrgreen:

Ah, forum re-jig. That'll explain that then.



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:52 pm
User avatarPosts: 1137Location: Cheadle/Leamington SpaJoined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:00 am
WHY DEAR GOD HAVE I NOT SEEN THAT BEFORE!



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:14 am
User avatarCridaperPosts: 13970Location: WolverhamptonJoined: Mon May 31, 2004 4:00 am
The question is, since badger has popped up on Facebook, do I show her?



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 8:55 am
User avatarBiggest Nappy EvaPosts: 6922Joined: Mon May 31, 2004 4:00 am
MWF wrote:
The question is, since badger has popped up on Facebook, do I show her?


THAT is the question. I need to reply to her as well :-s Not been on Facebook in a week or more.



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